When my son was born, I thought I had it all figured out. I was confident that I knew exactly what it took to start a family… what a shock.
People would tell me to sleep as much as I could before the baby was born because I would “never sleep again”! How is it possible that this little baby would deprive me of sleep? It didn’t make sense to me! Things became a little more unpredictable when I got closer to my due date and spoke to others who recently had a baby.
My baby boy was born on March 2nd, 2012 and my life changed instantly. This beautiful baby boy was all mine and mine forever. The second I held him in my arms, everything seemed easy! It was easy to love, care and hold my baby.
The nurse approached me and told me it was time to feed my baby. I was scared. I wasn’t sure if I was holding him in the correct position nor did I know if he was getting an efficient amount of milk from me. What if he didn’t take my milk? Everyone told me that breast milk was optimal, but what if my baby doesn’t latch? Will everyone think I’m a bad mom if I feed him formula? It was all too much pressure!
Is it only me that feels judged when I don’t have the top branded stroller that seems to be over priced? Or when my children are not in five after school programs encouraging physical fitness and strength? Is it wrong that not EVERYTHING I feed my children is organic or when blueberries are $5.99 a pint, but I don’t buy it for my children knowing its their fruit of choice? I constantly feel pressured being a mom and truthfully, it isn’t as easy as I thought it would be!
I don’t know why there is so much pressure on us! I constantly felt pressure from others as a new mom, but the worst was when it was coming from those who had children themselves.
I’m sure it’s not intentional (or so I’d hope not), but there are things we don’t need to question or comment on. How much does your baby weigh? You are giving formula? Why did you stop breastfeeding so early? My baby is sleeping 12 hours through the night, is yours? I remember a mother asking me this question at my first mommy group… how come my baby is not sleeping for 12 hours and hers is? Am I doing something wrong? These questions/comments might seem like a great conversation starter, but they may leave a momma feeling unhappy.
Let’s stop putting pressure on each other! We need to be more cautious about what we are asking others and the comments we make. I know I have been guilty of asking a question that I wouldn’t ask a new mom now. Although it may be unintentional, let’s think with caution.
It doesn’t matter what brand of bottles your baby is drinking from or what type of school they are attending. What matters most is that you are trying to do the best you can and keeping in mind that being a mom isn’t easy. It’s tough, but with support perhaps we can make it a bit of an easier journey for others.